Stars

So here is my first try at writing a fanfic without smut. It hasn't been edited or anything so I'm sorry for how bad it prob sounds, but its also like one of my first fanfics. The words in bold and italic are the lyrics to "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. So enjoy!
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I lit a fire with the love you left behind
And It burned wild and crept up the mountain side

Its been four years. Fours years since you left. No note. Not a kiss goodbye. Nothing. You just left. Life was just starting to look up, then you left. I started smoking again and doing much worse things that you would be mad at me for, but you weren't there to get mad at me and tell me to stop.

I followed your ashes into outer space

I tried. I tried so hard to be with you again. I did everything I could, but there was always something holding me back. Pulling me back to reality where is hurt so much to live without you.

I can't look out the window, I can't look at this place.

The hardest part of life without you is the sun. Everything about it reminds me of you. When I feel its warmth on me I remember the warm fuzzy feeling I always got around you. The color reminds me of your hair, your soft and gorgeous hair. I always thought your eyes shone like the sun and now I realize just how much they actually did.

I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.

I used to just lock myself up during the day, but now even the stars remind me of the twinkle in your eyes when you said "I love you." And that hurts the most. You only said those three words to me once. I didn't say them back, and now I regret it more than anything. Those three words were also the last words you ever said to me before you left without notice. The stars are almost unbearable now.

All those times we looked up at the sky
Looking out so far, it felt like we could fly

The world has grown so cold and small since you left. I feel like I'm constantly being suffocating with memories of you. Everything reminds me of you or something you said.

And now I'm alone in the dark of night
And the moon is shining, but I can't see the light.

Nothing is as bright as it was with you. The day feels like the only light is a dim candle in the corner of the room that barely reaches me. And the night. The night is so bad. I feel like I'm drowning in its blackness and there is no one to save me, nothing to grab on to.

And I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.

I've met someone new. He doesn't even compare to you, but he brightens up my life a little. With him I feel as if there are possibilities out there and the world isn't so dark. But sometimes he does things or says things that remind me of you and I break down, sometimes for days. I'm not over you and I don't think I will ever be and he understands that, and he loves me anyway.

Stars, they make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I Know you've gone to far
So I can't look at the stars.

Its been fifteen years since you left me. I'm still with the guy I met. Life has almost gone back to normal, well as normal as it can without you. I don't breakdown and cry about you anymore, but I still love you more than I'll love anything. There is still one thing that brings me to tears every time. Stars.
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so that was it. I wrote it for Ziall from Zayns point of view, but I mean it could really be about anyone one and it doesn't have to be gay, it could be completely straight. Also I left the interpretation of how the person left all up to the reader, I know how I imagine it, but you can imagine it how ever you want.

The thing that has taken over my life!!!

So recently I have become slightly addicted to tumblr, and by slightly I mean its my life. I really wasn't even aware of this obsession until I was trying to type Dumbledore and my friend told me I spelled it wrong and I was like what? I had spelled it Dumblrdore, and I didn't even realize it till my friend pointed it out. Then about 30mins after that I was trying to go to stumbleupon and it said that there was no website with that name so I look at what I typed and I had typed stumblrupon, when I went to fix it I typed tumblrupon. I realized that tumblr had taken over my life, but I don't care lol. Tumblr is like the place where I can fanboy and everyone else is fanboying/girling with me. They also don't think I'm weird like some of my friends when I talk about my favorite ships.

Umm.. My life

My life is freaking awesome right now. I have become addicted to tumblr, one direction(even though i wish i wasn't), and supernatural. Tumblr is really the thing that started all these other addictions. I have had a tumblr for forever now, but i never really used it till recently. At first the people i followed were all supernatural fans, and they still are. So i eventually gave in and i watch at least one supernatural episode a day now. then they all became addicted to one direction and everything on my dashboard was either supernatural or one direction. Today i finally gave in a got one directions album on my iPod. Over all its pretty good. Although Liam starts all their songs except like one and i'm like really and three people, Liam Zyan and Harry, sing like everything and the other two sing choruses with everyone else and have like one verses elsewhere.

So its summer and that means BAND!!!!!!!! I'm so excited about band.. we only have one more practice before we get most of July off, then BAND CAMP!!!!  Now band camp is like the highlight/worst part of my summer. Its great because your get to hang out with all your band friends pretty much all day and your get to learn your show, which i mean what could really be better. The bad parts are its hot and your outside for like 4 hours straight, you get extremely tired after like three days and then everyone in band who is already annoying and you don't like seems to become so much more annoying and the only thing that is holding you back from walking up to them and killing them is that it hurts to walk and you don't think you'd have to energy to kill them. But over all its a positive experience. 

"Jane Eyre"

So I have to read "Jane Eyre" for school. I'm actually reading this book and I think it is pretty good, but I absolutely hate Jane!! I don't know why I think it might be because she can never just accept whats given to her, and she always has to put up a fight before she finally consents to it. And I just read the part where she left Mr. Rochester!! I wanted to jump through the book and like slap her and say stop being so stupid!! The man obviously loves you and you love him!! So why can't you overlook the fact that he has a demon for a wife and he didn't tell you about her! I wouldn't have told you about her either cause the way you act I known you wouldn't have understood. I am hoping that Jane becomes more likable to me because right now she is really annoying me and I am thinking about not even finishing the book because she annoys me so much!!!!!!!

Fiction Rules!! and Parental Bribery

So recently I have been breaking away from fanfiction and just reading regular fiction. Like short story fiction that is just like fanficiton but with original characters and such. I find it so much better because everything is original and I don't get mad when people mess up details from the books and such. Also my mom is bribing me with and Ipod to be good and respectful. I think I can be respectful for a week when I get it, then who knows she said she would take it away if I messed up, but i doubt she will cause she isn't like that. But i should prob be more respectful, but I'm a teenager and its hard sometimes, but i try. 

I Herpes You! Chapter 1: Dean and Sam, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

I Herpes You! Chapter 1: Dean and Sam, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Omg i love supernatural and autocorrect, This made my year so far! lol

2012!! New Year!!

This is my first post in 2012!!! But anyway 2012. I feel like this year is going to be a really big year for me. I get my drivers license this year!! I turn 17.. which i shouldn't even be thinking about because i just turned 16 not even a month ago. I also don't think the world is going to end. I mean no offense if you do, everyone has the right to believe in what ever they want to believe in I personally just think that the mayans got tired of making a calendar that went so far into the future. If you figured out how the Earth rotates and stuff like that you would be pretty excited to and want to write it down with all your ideas and stuff, but don't you think after umm  2000 years of making calenders you would think that people would catch on to how it worked and just make their own if they needed to. that is what I think the mayans did.. but who knows.. we will all see. 2012 is going to be a big year for everyone, regardless of it we die or not so lets try to make is a good year in a big way!!

Chinese Food

Today my cousin and I got taken out to eat and see a movie. We ate at a Chinese buffet and I love Chinese food but the only problem with it is that you eat until you can't eat anymore, then two hours later your hungry again! So when the bill came and they had fortune cookies on them like always. We open them and i almost choke on my cookie as i read my fortune."You think that is a secret, but it never has been one." that got me thinking that maybe my secret (which i will not say) may have never been a secret and I'm the only one who thinks its a secret. I hope not, but then again I hope it never has been a secret cause now i know how people will act once they know cause they already know. I feel like fortune cookies are made to make your life more difficult because now I am like freaking out, why couldn't i get the one that said something about music, no I get this one. Maybe it was meant to be.

Sofa King

I was bored and i was surfing the internet, and i came across this funny thing. I am sofa king we todd did. It said to say it three times fast, but i got it after saying it the first time not even fast. I was trying to see if my 6yr old cousin could say it but she can't read so i had to tell her every word. The closes she came to saying it was i am so fuck a king i todd did. I thought that hearing her try to say this was even better than realizing what it made me sound like. Then i started thinking about Cape Horn, it sounds like gay porn and its so much fun. In Spanish class we aren't aloud to talk about Cape Horn anymore because of the whole it sounds like gay porn.

NEED YOUR HELP

Ok, so I am running out of gay movies to watch. I honestly don't even know how i have made a week and watched these gay movies with out running out, but i am finally almost out. So if you would please help me and just tell me any gay movies you have watched and liked, it would be greatly appreciated.  I have like 5 days left of Christmas break and i would like to spend them watching gay movies, but that all depends on you guys and if you will tell me some awesome gay movies you have seen! so please.. TELL ME SOME MOVIES!!!

Christmas Break!

So far on Christmas Break all i have done is watch movies.. which they are really good movies i think like Another Gay Movie, Another Gay Sequel,Eating Out(all 4 of them), Under One Roof, Beautiful Thing. all these  movies are like gay movies. I don't know why(actually i do.. its cause of my bestfriend) but lately i have been obsessed with gay things. I have read some gay books too like Band Fags, A Secret Edge, and Every Frat Boy Wants It. But over Christmas Break all i really have been doing is watching movies so for the second week of break i am going to try and do some reading, and not necessarily gay reading, just any kind of reading.

Puppy names

ok so i got a new puppy and i'm having a hard time thinking of a name for it. it is a male chihuahua and its color is like gray but apparently its called a blue chihuahua cause the color is actually blue, but if you are reading this can you please leave a name suggestion as a comment i would greatly appreciate it

Gay Books

so recently i have had a weird obsession with gay books. i dnt know why but they are like the only books i have read in about a month. i read this really good one called 'Every Frat Boy Wants It' probably the best one i have read so far. I really want to read the one called 'Band Fags' its seems like it would be really good, also the book 'Boy Meets Boy' is on my list of books i have to read.

Can You Feel The Love Tonight

so lately i have been obsessed with the band stellar kart and i was listening to music on pandora when a whole new world from Aladdin came on and i was like this sounds really good.. so i youtube the song and find three more disney songs by stellar kart and they are all amazing.. well except for be our guest but i never really liked that song in teh first place. but i like stellar kart so much more becasue they have disney songs lol

"Making a Gingerbread House"

so last night me and my best friend ever made a gingerbread house. It was the first time i ever made one and it was so much fun. One thing i learned though was that making a gingerbread house can be extremely sexual, almost everything me and my friend said turned out to be sexual it was the best ever!!! While dismantling the gingerbread house with our mouths we got frosting all over our faces and it looked like our faces were drenched in cum! seeing as i am a guy you would think i would freak out but instead i suggest we take pictures  lol. After we washed our faces i tried on her dress that she has had for a couple years (this was the first and last  time i ever plan on wearing girls clothes) we then took lots of pictures with both of us in dresses it was a blast! then i found one of her hats and i put it on and i think i looked like kingsley from youtube.. and i am now obsessed with those hats and want one lol!

German Class

so this year i am taking German as a foreign language and honestly the only reason i am taking it is because my friend was taking it and i wanted to have a class with them. In German all i ever do is mess around and not pay attention to the teacher, but i still am like the best in the class. Which is awesome because German is a cool language, and my fav part about German is verb kickers like weil or wiel.. i dnt remember how to spell it.. but i like them because i'm like the only on in the class who remembers to put the verb at the end of the sentence instead of at the beginning. I also say some pretty weird stuff in that class, most of which gets posted on facebook.

iTunes Shuffle Quiz

How does the world see you?

I Need You- Relient K

Will I have a happy life?

Misery Loves Its Company- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

What do my friends really think of me?

The Resolution- Jack's Mannequin

Do people secretly lust after me?

Everything You Dreamed- Verona Grove

How can i make myself happy?

Hold On- Stellar Kart

What should I do with my life?

Don't Wait- Dashboard Confessional

Will I ever have children?

Swing, Swing- All-American Rejects

What is some good advice for me?

Grim Goodbye- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

How will I be remembered?

One Moment Away- The Afters

What is my signature dancing song?

Finding Out- Stellar Kart

What do I think my current theme song is?

False Pretense- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?

I'd Do Anything- Simple Plan

What song will play at my funeral?

Standard Lines- Dashboard Confessional

What type of men/women do you like?

Time Bomb- Faber Drive

What is my day going to be like?
The Kill- 30 Seconds to Mars

New Text Message From Moo

So last week i went to Disney and on the first day at the park on of my friends took my phone and changed all of my contacts to Moo so when i got a new message it was from moo and i had no idea who they were. I think deleted all of my contacts and now have to ask people who they are every single time they text and they are all like did you delete my number and i respond with technically yes, but no. Well at least no i dnt have to go through and erase numbers i dnt text anymore..

Dear Life
When i asked if my day could get any worse it was a rhetorical question, not a direct challenge

so i'm at my aunts on vacation and its more like a borecation then anything else