Monday, January 7, 2013

Stars


So here is my first try at writing a fanfic without smut. It hasn't been edited or anything so I'm sorry for how bad it prob sounds, but its also like one of my first fanfics. The words in bold and italic are the lyrics to "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. So enjoy!
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I lit a fire with the love you left behind
And It burned wild and crept up the mountain side

Its been four years. Fours years since you left. No note. Not a kiss goodbye. Nothing. You just left. Life was just starting to look up, then you left. I started smoking again and doing much worse things that you would be mad at me for, but you weren't there to get mad at me and tell me to stop.

I followed your ashes into outer space

I tried. I tried so hard to be with you again. I did everything I could, but there was always something holding me back. Pulling me back to reality where is hurt so much to live without you.

I can't look out the window, I can't look at this place.

The hardest part of life without you is the sun. Everything about it reminds me of you. When I feel its warmth on me I remember the warm fuzzy feeling I always got around you. The color reminds me of your hair, your soft and gorgeous hair. I always thought your eyes shone like the sun and now I realize just how much they actually did.

I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.

I used to just lock myself up during the day, but now even the stars remind me of the twinkle in your eyes when you said "I love you." And that hurts the most. You only said those three words to me once. I didn't say them back, and now I regret it more than anything. Those three words were also the last words you ever said to me before you left without notice. The stars are almost unbearable now.

All those times we looked up at the sky
Looking out so far, it felt like we could fly

The world has grown so cold and small since you left. I feel like I'm constantly being suffocating with memories of you. Everything reminds me of you or something you said.

And now I'm alone in the dark of night
And the moon is shining, but I can't see the light.

Nothing is as bright as it was with you. The day feels like the only light is a dim candle in the corner of the room that barely reaches me. And the night. The night is so bad. I feel like I'm drowning in its blackness and there is no one to save me, nothing to grab on to.

And I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.

I've met someone new. He doesn't even compare to you, but he brightens up my life a little. With him I feel as if there are possibilities out there and the world isn't so dark. But sometimes he does things or says things that remind me of you and I break down, sometimes for days. I'm not over you and I don't think I will ever be and he understands that, and he loves me anyway.

Stars, they make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I Know you've gone to far
So I can't look at the stars.

Its been fifteen years since you left me. I'm still with the guy I met. Life has almost gone back to normal, well as normal as it can without you. I don't breakdown and cry about you anymore, but I still love you more than I'll love anything. There is still one thing that brings me to tears every time. Stars.
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so that was it. I wrote it for Ziall from Zayns point of view, but I mean it could really be about anyone one and it doesn't have to be gay, it could be completely straight. Also I left the interpretation of how the person left all up to the reader, I know how I imagine it, but you can imagine it how ever you want.

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