Stars

So here is my first try at writing a fanfic without smut. It hasn't been edited or anything so I'm sorry for how bad it prob sounds, but its also like one of my first fanfics. The words in bold and italic are the lyrics to "Stars" by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals. So enjoy!
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I lit a fire with the love you left behind
And It burned wild and crept up the mountain side

Its been four years. Fours years since you left. No note. Not a kiss goodbye. Nothing. You just left. Life was just starting to look up, then you left. I started smoking again and doing much worse things that you would be mad at me for, but you weren't there to get mad at me and tell me to stop.

I followed your ashes into outer space

I tried. I tried so hard to be with you again. I did everything I could, but there was always something holding me back. Pulling me back to reality where is hurt so much to live without you.

I can't look out the window, I can't look at this place.

The hardest part of life without you is the sun. Everything about it reminds me of you. When I feel its warmth on me I remember the warm fuzzy feeling I always got around you. The color reminds me of your hair, your soft and gorgeous hair. I always thought your eyes shone like the sun and now I realize just how much they actually did.

I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.

I used to just lock myself up during the day, but now even the stars remind me of the twinkle in your eyes when you said "I love you." And that hurts the most. You only said those three words to me once. I didn't say them back, and now I regret it more than anything. Those three words were also the last words you ever said to me before you left without notice. The stars are almost unbearable now.

All those times we looked up at the sky
Looking out so far, it felt like we could fly

The world has grown so cold and small since you left. I feel like I'm constantly being suffocating with memories of you. Everything reminds me of you or something you said.

And now I'm alone in the dark of night
And the moon is shining, but I can't see the light.

Nothing is as bright as it was with you. The day feels like the only light is a dim candle in the corner of the room that barely reaches me. And the night. The night is so bad. I feel like I'm drowning in its blackness and there is no one to save me, nothing to grab on to.

And I can't look at the stars
They make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far
So I, I can't look at the stars.

I've met someone new. He doesn't even compare to you, but he brightens up my life a little. With him I feel as if there are possibilities out there and the world isn't so dark. But sometimes he does things or says things that remind me of you and I break down, sometimes for days. I'm not over you and I don't think I will ever be and he understands that, and he loves me anyway.

Stars, they make me wonder where you are
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all, I Know you've gone to far
So I can't look at the stars.

Its been fifteen years since you left me. I'm still with the guy I met. Life has almost gone back to normal, well as normal as it can without you. I don't breakdown and cry about you anymore, but I still love you more than I'll love anything. There is still one thing that brings me to tears every time. Stars.
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so that was it. I wrote it for Ziall from Zayns point of view, but I mean it could really be about anyone one and it doesn't have to be gay, it could be completely straight. Also I left the interpretation of how the person left all up to the reader, I know how I imagine it, but you can imagine it how ever you want.

The thing that has taken over my life!!!

So recently I have become slightly addicted to tumblr, and by slightly I mean its my life. I really wasn't even aware of this obsession until I was trying to type Dumbledore and my friend told me I spelled it wrong and I was like what? I had spelled it Dumblrdore, and I didn't even realize it till my friend pointed it out. Then about 30mins after that I was trying to go to stumbleupon and it said that there was no website with that name so I look at what I typed and I had typed stumblrupon, when I went to fix it I typed tumblrupon. I realized that tumblr had taken over my life, but I don't care lol. Tumblr is like the place where I can fanboy and everyone else is fanboying/girling with me. They also don't think I'm weird like some of my friends when I talk about my favorite ships.

Umm.. My life

My life is freaking awesome right now. I have become addicted to tumblr, one direction(even though i wish i wasn't), and supernatural. Tumblr is really the thing that started all these other addictions. I have had a tumblr for forever now, but i never really used it till recently. At first the people i followed were all supernatural fans, and they still are. So i eventually gave in and i watch at least one supernatural episode a day now. then they all became addicted to one direction and everything on my dashboard was either supernatural or one direction. Today i finally gave in a got one directions album on my iPod. Over all its pretty good. Although Liam starts all their songs except like one and i'm like really and three people, Liam Zyan and Harry, sing like everything and the other two sing choruses with everyone else and have like one verses elsewhere.

So its summer and that means BAND!!!!!!!! I'm so excited about band.. we only have one more practice before we get most of July off, then BAND CAMP!!!!  Now band camp is like the highlight/worst part of my summer. Its great because your get to hang out with all your band friends pretty much all day and your get to learn your show, which i mean what could really be better. The bad parts are its hot and your outside for like 4 hours straight, you get extremely tired after like three days and then everyone in band who is already annoying and you don't like seems to become so much more annoying and the only thing that is holding you back from walking up to them and killing them is that it hurts to walk and you don't think you'd have to energy to kill them. But over all its a positive experience. 

"Jane Eyre"

So I have to read "Jane Eyre" for school. I'm actually reading this book and I think it is pretty good, but I absolutely hate Jane!! I don't know why I think it might be because she can never just accept whats given to her, and she always has to put up a fight before she finally consents to it. And I just read the part where she left Mr. Rochester!! I wanted to jump through the book and like slap her and say stop being so stupid!! The man obviously loves you and you love him!! So why can't you overlook the fact that he has a demon for a wife and he didn't tell you about her! I wouldn't have told you about her either cause the way you act I known you wouldn't have understood. I am hoping that Jane becomes more likable to me because right now she is really annoying me and I am thinking about not even finishing the book because she annoys me so much!!!!!!!

Fiction Rules!! and Parental Bribery

So recently I have been breaking away from fanfiction and just reading regular fiction. Like short story fiction that is just like fanficiton but with original characters and such. I find it so much better because everything is original and I don't get mad when people mess up details from the books and such. Also my mom is bribing me with and Ipod to be good and respectful. I think I can be respectful for a week when I get it, then who knows she said she would take it away if I messed up, but i doubt she will cause she isn't like that. But i should prob be more respectful, but I'm a teenager and its hard sometimes, but i try. 

I Herpes You! Chapter 1: Dean and Sam, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

I Herpes You! Chapter 1: Dean and Sam, a supernatural fanfic - FanFiction.Net

Omg i love supernatural and autocorrect, This made my year so far! lol

2012!! New Year!!

This is my first post in 2012!!! But anyway 2012. I feel like this year is going to be a really big year for me. I get my drivers license this year!! I turn 17.. which i shouldn't even be thinking about because i just turned 16 not even a month ago. I also don't think the world is going to end. I mean no offense if you do, everyone has the right to believe in what ever they want to believe in I personally just think that the mayans got tired of making a calendar that went so far into the future. If you figured out how the Earth rotates and stuff like that you would be pretty excited to and want to write it down with all your ideas and stuff, but don't you think after umm  2000 years of making calenders you would think that people would catch on to how it worked and just make their own if they needed to. that is what I think the mayans did.. but who knows.. we will all see. 2012 is going to be a big year for everyone, regardless of it we die or not so lets try to make is a good year in a big way!!